Hewie (far left) with Arlene (far right) with their granddaughter Elizabeth and cousins Gordon and Bonnie

Hewie and Arlene’s involvement with the Mitrata-Nepal Foundation began in 2003. Since then, their participation with Mitrata has evolved: they began asking for donations from friends at their annual Valentine’s Day party, then in 2005, they began sponsoring their first child, Bidhya, and later Hewie became a part of Mitrata’s Board where he remained for 10 years. For fifteen years, Hewie and Arlene have fundraised for Mitrata and have become a staple at St. Louis events, volunteering and sharing their passion with friends, supporters, and interested eventgoers.

In an effort to help Mitrata supporters better understand the process and planning behind their legacy gift, Arlene and Hewie agreed to be interviewed about their experiences with us over all these years. Most of the conversation revolved around Bidhya, whom the couple sponsored for many years starting in 2005. Their relationship is well-chronicled by a huge stack of letters and photos that Arlene and Hewie have kept over all these years. From this, they knew Bidhya’s need and family situation: her father worked supporting Bidhya and her younger sister Binita, but she was placed in a boarding school with Mitrata’s help when her family was no longer able to meet her basic needs. Because there is no free option for schooling, a child’s education in Nepal often ends when their parents can no longer afford the cost, as Bidhya’s couldn’t. This situation is unfortunately very common in the underprivileged areas around Kathmandu Valley that Mitrata serves. Over the next 9 years, Arlene and Hewie wrote letters to Bidhya and Binita and even began collecting donations to cover costs for Binita. They kept all of their correspondences and photos to the girls. For Arlene, it was vital for her as a sponsor to do this. Not only did it serve as a record for her to watch her sponsored child grow up but, in the future, could also be the only way for the sponsored child to have a record of their childhood.

But it wasn’t until 2014 that Hewie and Arlene met Bidhya in person. She was turning 15 that year. When they arrived at Bidhya’s school, there were a group of girls gathered by the gate, wondering about these visitors from the other side of the world, until the group, led by Bidhya, approached the Americans. Hewie described the meeting like a long-lost reunion, adding: “I can still visualize the smile she had on her face when we met.” When they returned to Nepal in 2018, Arlene described giving Bidhya a locket from her mother’s old collection of costume jewelry and how, when they saw her again several days later, she was so proud to show them that she had put an old picture of them in the locket. They both described how she attached to them like parents, and from the pictures of her proudly displayed in their house with other members of their family, it seems that this loving relationship was mutual.

Another connection that Hewie and Arlene made on their trips was with the Contact Center children. They recalled getting ice cream with the children and how concerned they were with the adults getting their food first, even though they only have an ice cream trip twice per year. When the children played games, they were not interested in who won and who lost, and the older children were untiring in teaching games to the younger ones. When asked about their planned gift, Hewie and Arlene’s first thought was of the Contact Center, though they did not specify a designation for their gift, adding that they wholeheartedly trust the Mitrata Board and leadership to use responsibly and where it is most needed. When discussing their decision to make a gift, Hewie emphasized that his concern was not with his legacy but with the fact that his gift could go towards helping kids. The potential, he further explained, to help the little kids in the Contact Center is so high and their need so great that he would like to be able to support that program. Arlene emphasized, on the other hand, her practical perspective on sponsorship and legacy gifts. Just like how someone might choose to be frugal with a few dollars here and there by buying a brand of their groceries on sale, for example, in order to save for a child’s college tuition or for their retirement, so Hewie and Arlene have saved and planned for both themselves and their gifts to support Mitrata. They both feel the responsibility to support themselves and to give back and see these both as equals, as necessities.

Arlene with Contact Center kids at the zoo

As far as setting up their gifts, Hewie and Arlene explained that they use their required minimum distribution (RMD) from their IRA account to pay for their annual sponsorship fees. If you allocate this distribution straight to a charity, they explained, the money is not taxed. For their legacy gift, they set up a trust with their lawyer and designated a portion to benefit Mitrata. For those interested in making a planned gift, Hewie and Arlene urged that having a lawyer you trust is key. There are many different ways to set up this gift, too, other than what they did. They knew of strategies such as making Mitrata the beneficiary of one’s life insurance or of a certain bank account. They also wanted potential legacy donors to know that any amount makes a difference. It was important for them to make this decision, first and foremost, because they know that the kids will benefit as soon as the money is distributed. They created a legacy gift to Mitrata because they have personally seen the amazing success stories of our children and want to continue to help them graduate and lift themselves out of poverty.

As for Bidhya, their first sponsored child, she graduated Mitrata’s program after completing 12th grade in tourism in 2018, choosing not to continue on to university or trade school education but to support herself with plans of sending money to her mom. Of course, Hewie and Arlene explained that they would’ve been happy to continue supporting her and would’ve loved to see her continue through to get a university education; however, they take great pride and joy in the fact that Bidhya felt empowered to make this decision herself. They lovingly described the leadership and independent spirit they recognized in her from the first time they met.

After Bidhya graduated from Mitrata’s program, Hewie and Arlene took on a new child named Anjana. Like with their first child, they are just learning about Anjana now, first through her biography sheet and now through short letters, in which she often tells them how grateful she is for their support. They are investing in this relationship with Anjana, they say, just as they did with Bidhya many years ago because they want to make this a lasting and meaningful relationship for her. They have already started a whole new file folder where they can keep all of their correspondence to and from Anjana.

Hewie and Arlene are looking forward to continuing to support Mitrata and be a part of the community for a long time to come. They will continue to save some money where they can, too, because they know how much further their dollar can go in Nepal and because they have seen how Mitrata’s holistic and unwavering support helps our children become great leaders and confident Nepali citizens. It is these unique qualities of Mitrata that have made Hewie and Arlene want to be involved over all these years, and now they are making plans to aid in this mission and help ensure the longevity of Mitrata on a more long-term basis. This will be their planned gift, and this will be their legacy of what matters in life.

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